I should start out by saying that during the heyday of Armstrong's domination, I was generally ignorant of the sport's minutiae, let alone the international dynamics of professional cycling. I knew and understood the idea behind the Tour, even that it had a lengthy history. But, like most teens who weren't avid cyclists at the turn of the century, I envisioned the Tour through the rose-hued lens of Lance's miraculous comeback. Now, I'd missed all of Lance's victories; I think I heard about them in the week's following each one, as Armstrong's celebrity profile grew and grew. But from 1999 to 2005, I simply had other things on my mind.


Yet I accept the possibility as a probability that these athletes exist on a plane where the concept of an "authentic" performance means something very different. The fact that there's a list of banned substances that circulates every year suggests the attempt to regulate performance enhancement in professional sport. But its very existence strikes me as a supreme irony - an irony it its tacit encouragement of substances not on the list. Take for instance the distinctions between Clenbuterol and Albuterol. Clenbuterol, a bronchodilator, is on this list while Albuterol, a bronchodilator, is not. Without digging into the pharmacological niceties of these drugs, I understand that the first can function as a stimulant by affecting the central nervous system, in addition to enhancing aerobic capacity and accelerating metabolism. By contast, Albuterol enhances only aerobic capacity. But I fail to see the distinction in principle that necessitates one of these drugs' exclusion and the other's acceptance. (Remember also that Alberto Contador got popped in 2010 for Clenbuterol use, but Chris Froome has a medical exemption for use of an inhaler - read: albuterol. In essence, I see this particular case as a symptom of larger reincarnation of the 50% hematocrit rule, which was a UCI policy in the 90s and early 2000s that restricted athletes' blood hematocrit (a proportion of red blood cells to blood plasma) could not exceed 50%. This functioned as an open-door policy for doping up to a certain point.
An "authentic" performance for a professional, then, includes the use of any performance enhancers not expressly forbidden by the rules of the sport. But for those of us who pay for our bikes, an "authentic" performance is one that we celebrate for precisely the opposite reason: it's supported and "enhanced" by very little. Perhaps the wallet, if you can afford a nice rig, decent coaching, training, and dietary planning. But these are all things that fall well within the pale of being accomplished "on one's own," or - dare I say - naturally? That is, none of the elements listed above amount to an unnatural modification of one's athletic capacity. Sure, there will be vast disparities in training and fitness amongst recreational cyclists; and the hardware can range widely as well between even Cat 5 cyclists of comparable fitness. But none of them introduce exogenous (that is, non-native metabolic or physiological enhancements) alterations to the human body. Amateurs, it seems, value - hell, you could even say romanticize and be very near the mark - those athletic achievements that are mediated as little as possible.
I suppose I've taken this long digression as a way of contextualizing my views of the professional peloton. There's a lot of rhetoric these days about how the Armstrong era has passed, and how the sport needs to emerge from his shadow. But this strikes me as bogus scapegoating that is both insensitive to the manner in which language shapes perceptions and sloppy thinking. The history of performance enhancement in cycling in particular is long and colorful. Cyclists were claiming to run on dynamite as long ago as the 1924 Tour de France! And this is common knowledge among the students of the sport. The recent push towards clean cycling - very admirable and worthy - doesn't address the fundamental link between cycling and doping that has existed for longer than Armstrong has even been alive. To vilify him and others of his "era" is a supremely unfair, even unsporting maneuver by the armchair quarterbacks and ethically myopic. Sure, he had the most sophisticated doping program the world has ever seen, and he may even have been a very big asshole to a lot of people who didn't deserve it. But the discussion that swirls around doping in the sport both creates Armstrong as a figurehead of cycling's greatest canker sore while it attempts to distance itself from the thing he has come to represent: cheating. (And for the record, my favorite cyclists from this "era" are Frankie Andreu and Christian Van de Velde, for various reasons, but mostly because of their underdog status. Both are confirmed, confessed dopers; the first of whom received some of Armstrong's special ire.)
I just want to take a moment to clarify a position: I am certainly not a fan of cheating. I believe it's wrong, and I find highly compelling the argument that cheating of any kind effectively robs other clean and fair competitors of their chance to pursue victory. But I find exactly in the opposite direction and degree the argument that pillorying Armstrong is a necessary step towards remaking the sport in a cleaner image. Most of the conversations that develop around this issue are dramatically one-sided, lacking the proper sophistication that would lead to clear insights on how best to improve the sport's credibility and give its recent halting steps towards integrity some...well - integrity. Stripping Armstrong of those victories won't redeem the sport or cleanse its tainted DNA. And I believe if the sport is going to take such a drastic step as stripping titles retroactively, it should follow through and strip results from known past offenders and admitted dopers. (I'm pretty sure Anquetil is a candidate for such retroactive consideration.) The unpalatable nature of such consistency will readily highlight the hypocrisy of the current state of cycling's mission to redeem itself.

If you were an optimist, you might tacitly concede the late corruption of the sport but daydream of the halcyon days of cycling: the '80s. That decade saw the first US-based cycling team enter the sport's greatest race in the form of the 7-11 team, as well as the first American winner of the Tour, Greg LeMond. But these little tidbits of knowledge have come to sound more and more like the scholastic trivia of a fundamental non-answer to the cycling commentary's current enthymeme: the sport has lost all credibility. In any event, this very topic provided a stake for cyclists, a means of demonstrating their own right to belong to the global family of cyclists. It gave an added dimension to the brotherhood against which amateurs could contrast themselves. In an ironic way, pro cycling's corruption provided an analgesic to the limitless host of failings - performance and otherwise - of the amateur peloton. Such commentator-cyclists weren't pro-caliber racers, but neither were they the dubious heroes who garnered such qualified admiration.
For whatever reason - perhaps a recent and uncharacteristic abundance of time - recently, I thought it would be interesting to go back and try to experience a fan's perspective of those now-rescinded victories as they happened, before the conversation of doping became a such a cultural imperative. I'd never actually followed a Tour like one of the die-hard tifosi, even after my conversion to the velominati. Shift work for most of the last three years ensured that I watched only selections of the 2013 Tour when I could; the same held true for 2014. 2015 was the first time I had a chance to watch the Tour as it unfolded, but even this was interrupted by training for the new teaching digs.
Enter YouTube! There's a kindred spirit out there who's shared some footage of primary samples from the tainted watershed of the Tour's checkered past: the '98 and '99 Tours. Today, it's inconceivable for any self-styled cyclist to hear of these two infamous chapters in the chronicle of our sport without a cloud of gloom descending on the conversation. Nobody seems to want those years to exist. But something weird happens after you watch the footage of these two Tours. We don't usually think of '99 and Y2K as particularly "dated" periods in world history. But in an odd way, they are - and not just the existential naivete of the pre-9/11 era.*** There are little snippets of evidence that this was a "once upon a time": saddles that look ridiculously bulky, tilted stupidly upward at the nose; thuggishly baggy clothes adorn rake-thin cyclists en route to press conferences; jerseys that flap wildly in the wind, aero advantages be damned; and a devil-may-care disregard for helmets. It was, as anyone can now tell when watching this footage, a different time.
It's not entirely possible to escape our present knowledge of doping within the peloton. The commentators, Liggett and Sherwin, with their iconic and informative banter, help infuse a bit of optimism into such viewing. But even their positive spin (which, admittedly, is aimed at a general viewership and not intended for an audience deeply familiar with the subtleties of cycling) has its limitations. There's even a bitter piece of irony in this acknowledgement of cycling's abnormality at 1:05:40 in this video of the '99 Tour de France.
In any event, I've been watching the Tours from '98 in succession as time allows. I'm currently up to '02, in which you can see Armstrong begin to settle into his role as the patron of the peloton. But it was during my viewing of the '99 Tour that I found the first spark of invented nostalgia for this period I missed. I can't remember which stage it struck, but I recall very vividly watching the pedals turn under Lance's (even by my allow Madone's standards) old Trek, as he rode himself into the first of his jerseys. Suddenly I felt a small sense of the thrill that must have ensued when Americans realized that Armstrong was winning the race. In some part of my mind I knew that it was incredible - as in not credible, that it was founded on illicit performance enhancements - but the part of my mind that was seeing this for the first time, that husk of the naive me that remains mostly imaginative and fanciful, exulted in the sight. Here was an American cyclist - the first in since Lemond! - to have a shot at the maillot jaune. The first time I saw Armstrong cruising up the mountains, the naïf in me muttered, "I've gotta have that jersey!" A quick search on ebay showed one available in my size.
Now, you should know that most cycling jerseys go for between $40 and $100. Even a relatively mediocre World Tour Team's jersey will cost you a decent enough amount that you'll probably weigh the cost of those threads versus the need to wear it. I'm very fond of Trek, and I haven't managed to find a Trek branded jersey for less than $60 - even from one of those cheap Chinese manufacturers.
Yet here it was! A replica of Lance's yellow jersey going for - what?! - $9.99! Full stop. A replica yellow jersey going online for less than $10. The critical and the naive parts of me had a frank conversation that lasted all of about 30 seconds:
Naïf: There's the one! Grab it! GRAB IT!
Critical Me: Wait a minute - this is crazy. This guy's practically giving this rag away...It's in good shape; gently used, rainbow stripes - ah, it's a half-zip, so perhaps not too fine a replica. But think of the implications - how far this garment must have fallen in value.
Naïf: Who CARES! That means we don't have to run it by the wife - it's a STEAL! STEAL IT! STEAL IT!
Critical Me: This is a piece of cycling history - no, not like legitimate cycling history, like a jersey worn by the actual riders. It's not signed or anything. But think of what it means for the total history of the sport.
Reader, I bought the jersey and unpacked it with the same thrill as if I were a twelve year old boy opening Christmas gifts. I don't fall in the conservative camp when it comes to wearing replica jerseys. (See this article for the different ideas that bear on this debate.) For my part, I'm all game for amateurs wearing replica jerseys, even championship jerseys if for no other reason than to express admiration for their preferred champions. When I don my Radio Shack - Trek team kit, I don't delude myself into thinking I'm a rolleur like Jens Voigt or a climber like the Schlecks, but I do feel like I've expressed my admiration for a team and declared my biases for my favorite brand. I don't wear pro team kit when I race, though. That is, I think, a bit gaudy and as intellectually blunt as the stencil with which cycling is attempting to villainize Armstrong.
Regarding this particular jersey, I haven't had the chance to wear it out on a ride yet, but come the spring you bet I will. The odds are that 99% of the people who see it will be those who only know Lance as the fallen hero. Knowing my neck of the woods, I'll probably get something thrown at me on the road. But for a training ride, it'd be a spectacular conversation piece, one that might help us all recognized the truth about Armstrong's legacy: it's really all of ours, and we have to deal with it for weal or woe.
Besides, yellow was my favorite color since before I even knew how to ride a bike.
* Woodland, Les. Tour De France, The Inside Story: Making the World's Greatest Bicycle Race.
Cherokee Village: McGann, 2014. N. pag. Print.